has been quite a blur.
i'm still weirded out by the fact that seorang Diandra can be that hectic.
me, the least ambitious out of my closest friends.
am still in limbo trying to figure out what i really want and this gets in the way of work (i try my best not to mix personal things with my work, so yeah this pisses me off for 'losing' to it).
most of the time i feel drawn in whenever i see a friends' progress in terms of 'doing what they're most passionate about'.
'drawn in' as in 'hey, i'm also interested in that to! so it is do-able...' or 'oh crap, is what i'm doing now really what i want?' to 'is it really the time for me to 'experiment' at this stage of my life?' even till 'do i still have the luxury of time itself?'
all that combined with the realization that i am finally finally a fully graduated student and the guilt that i know i'm not suppose to think like this anymore at this stage.
like i've said over and over again: i take longer then most people to progress.
have i really accepted this, i don't know and it frustrates me.
honestly, until this moment i still don't think i'm worthy enough to have that title...yet.
i'm happy and all that i can make my parents proud of my said achievement, but there's still something that nags me, this 'unfinished business'-feel.
hope this ends soon, and when it does, i won't be back at square one again.
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