those pictures that never existed.

it's kind of sad to not have documented memories just for the sake of not having them because of past stupid unrealistic ideals that didn't even make sense and was beyond hypocritical.

yes i do regret them deeply and will try to make new ones in the future. 

pff-

HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAOHMMYSTARSANDGARTERSHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHASICKSICKHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHOLYJEZUZSHITTINGLIGHTBULBSHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA---

false freedom

yeah thanks for rubbing salt--no, acid. acid in the wounds.
really didn't need the reminding, i am perfectly capable of remembering that on my own thank you.
finally get the place all for myself, nice peace and quiet but nooo just had to remind me.

Singapoh

Went to Singapore with Astrid for the last four days. Didn't bring my camera because didn't feel like being too tourist-y, but apparently in order to do so, you'd need a guide to go to all of those hidden gems (read: friends who've lived there for some time. Sadly, they've all graduated, so myeh).
Spent most of the time just wondering around, taking oma2 naps, strolling in and out of malls with snacks in our hands and getting bored occasionally.

Recap:
the epic bad
Marina Bay Sands.
Fucking.Rip-off.
We were supposed to go to the casino, but like the idiots we were, we forgot our passport.
Wasn't actually interested in going, but since I didn't have any better idea I accompanied her. Didn't find out till we got there that for 20-fucking-SGD you only had access to the front platform of the ship.
The areas you see on tv? yeah, only reserved for hotel guests.
So we ended up looking dumbstruck watching the rest of the crowd take pictures of...well, nothing much actually.
After about 15-20 minutes we decided to go to the mall thinking ''we went all the way here at least the mall should be commonly decent".
Wrong again.
The whole interior was so foreboding, severe and cold. Both figuratively and literally.
It was when we got to the MRT station that we cried blood and tears,"OMG DUNIA NORMAL!!!"

the good
Far East, Ya Kun Kaya, Bugis area, Bao Today, and Universal Studios!
Astrid's bf told her to go find Far East which we thought was literally 'far' from anywhere...it was right next to our hotel.hahaha. So after utter intimidation from the Orchard malls, we went there and instantly felt at home. Found Ya Kun Kaya there--seriously different coffee taste from the one in Jakarta--for coffee too.
Took a nap then spent the rest of the day till night around Bugis for snacks and cheap-ass shopping hunt. Still crave for the dewji-bulgogi from Dong Dae Mun and the almond beancurd I got at the market entrance.

The next day was Universal Studios day. It was packed, but we were still able to ride The Mummy twice, Battlestar Galactica's Human (twice) vs Cylon (thrice) roller coaster. And there was churros ohmyGOD-----. The souvenir shops sucked balls, but all in all we still had fun~

Went back to the hotel, took a hot bath like the oma2 I am, then went dinner hunting.
Intentionally headed to some seafood place that only opens from 11pm, but met the 1SGD ice cream cart (there weren't any on the first day how is that possible???) otw and while stting and eating decided we were too lazy (haha) and searched around Orchard instead.
Good thing we did, because then we found Bao Today in front of Somerset 313~
It became our default breakfast menu for the next two days.

Yes, Singapore is the least place you'd want to go to for a vacation unless you're aiming to do some serious serious shopping, but all in all, it was still good to be out of stifling Jakarta for a while~ thanks a bunch Trid!

cards layed open. wise?

pro : unconscious master schemer (making long executed well-cooked plans).
con : too honest.and said plans take too long that ends up missing precious time.not sure if it's worth it anymore.

solution : go away and leave me in peace.

the eternal debate

i need my sanity
i need my sanity
i need my sanity
i need my sanity
i need my sanity
forward
i need my sanity
i need my sanity
i need my sanity
i need my sanity
i need my sanity
forward
i need my sanity
i need my sanity
i need my sanity
i need my sanity
i need my sanity
forward

24/7

scraped hands.

i know i should feel bad, but honestly all i feel is...bliss.
and numb.
but calm.
if that's even possible.

what's done is done.
and as much as i hate the self-conflicting situation presented, i don't wish for it to be undone.
my gut's practically shrieking trying to get me to stop, but i can't, not now.
i need this.
but i'm also afraid that this thing--one of the things out of my 'most need' life batch--that i need most would end up being one of my downfalls for breaking that one crucial principle i swore to keep no matter what the situation, creating a fucking domino effect that will make me have to start over from square one.again.
and, again, i cannot go back to that fucking square.

also, i live in a box.
i hate living in a box.
because the thing with boxes and myself is that i get satisfied too easily, and when i finally find out of the better things i could have gotten outside said box, i'd get embarrassed and then turn into this shallow shallow bitch and end up 'discarding'--yes, i might even go as far as erasing all connections in my life with said party--the people i get involved with/situations i get myself into.and i do not want to end up discarding said party.
so besides that stupid box, there's that inevitable reaction to despise also.

ha ha god, ha ha.

colorquiz

*again, so sorry if anyone stumbles onto my blog because of the title.too tired to care about a different title.haha

last month i kept finding this quiz on other peoples blog, so i decided to try it out for myself out of curiosity...for 4 times since that time.
so about 15 minutes ago was my 5th try of the test.
and it was still right.
with even more accurate additional info's.

whoaaaa uber creepy ('good' creepy though).

check out for yourself at colorquiz.com

distance.

oh god what have i done?

when 'jepang = tegar' isn't in a comedy context.

-random car talk-
"...iya, kalo gua suka film-film jepang karena kalo mereka tuh endingnya biasanya suka ngasih hope gitu. kaya mereka tuh pengen bener-bener nunjukkin kalo with hard work and never giving up, lo baru bisa berhasil!''



hahaha bangsat, diem lo *tertohok*.

ha ha haa

look who iiiiiiii meeeeeeettt yesterday---

*aduh ga bisa brenti ketawa
*gatau pengen ketawa ato nangis
surprisingly it wasn't that bad.
yes the girl is still the same--unfocused, leaving mid-sentence to 'mingle' with her other worshiping posse--but the 'chat' was bearable and not as cringing as the past ones.
and i don't know why, but seeing her still walking like a mas-mas ngangkang and all makes me feel all 'warm' inside. warm as in a 'hahaha if all you idiots only knew' way (besides the ngangkang part) and trying not to videotape it then posting it online for her
worshipers to see.jahahahaha

i begThee,

ohdeargod, tomorrow i will be leaving for Yogyakarta.
for five whole days.
with my parents.
by car.
please let this turn out to be ok (i'm not asking for 'perfect', 'ok' is enough, thanks), and that we may behave ourselves so we can enjoy this very rare family vacation we haven't had since i was in 5th grade.

thanks!

Crows ZERO I & II

Crows ZERO is a about:
1. A whole school full of teenage punks--future yakuza most likely--fighting to conquer the
school.
2. A supremely huge amount of male ego & testosteron engrossed throughout the whole
movie, i promise you. Many smirks, 'nelen penggaris', and head-cocking-mocking
youarenotworthyofmytime-glances pose.awesome.
3. A million painful Kodak 'GUA'-moments.
Basically pure bashing the hell out of each other for about 3/4 of the whole movie.love.it.

Finally got the chance to watch both of them.Enjoyed every moment, laughing my ass off and cringing the whole time. I even enjoyed the, dare a say, more charismatic characters amongst the ones whose really there to purely enjoy the fight (which is actually no problem, seeing the whole nature of the movie).

The main Protagonist (both movies) & Antagonist (2nd movie)

aura 'GUA'-nya KENTAL max. Genji is such an ass, kept wanting to beat him up with a blunt corroded stick.
hated that he beat Sawakita, one of the best characters in the movie.meh

and just to prove point #2:

this is them walking in the school corridors

this is them 'hanging out'

this is them heading to battle

this is them after battle

like i said, pure awesomeness.ahahhahahaa

oh, one more thing, as i was browsing for movie stills, i came upon...this

Seolah-olah gamau kalah dan bilang, 'jangan lupa, kalo soal 'GUA'2-an (yang ga pada tempatnya), masih ada kita lho.'
Kalah telak.

roda emang (literally) berputar.

yesterday she offered-no wait.insisted to take me to Bandung at 04.00 pm. i said yes, thank you.
today at 04.00 pm, i still wasn't done. she said ok, print your stuff at home, we'll go at 07.00 pm, gpp.
got home at 06.00 pm to cream soup, which i was yearning :3.
momma brought home BK, which i was yearning as well~.
diandra sayang ibu dan ndut.
we left at 09.15 pm.
09.17 pm she tossed her 3 handphones at me and was already frantically barking orders for me to call hotels.
09.17 pm till 10.00 pm did not go well.

10.30pm :
"btw, did i mention that i'm leaving to bandung NOW?
dan drtd ada yang ngotot tiba2 minta dicariin HOTEL because SHE wants to sleep well?
dan barusan BAN MOBIL gw pecah dg truk2 horor ngebut2 deket.banget.banget.di
pinggir tol.
gw pengen ngakak.

(what?? tuhan suka becanda to the max! di kilometer brapa pecahnya? ga knapa2 kan tp yg di mobil?? Bdua doang?? derek tol tuh bs diandelin ga sih??)

EXACTLY.
gtau dmn, yg jelas dpn gw ada "LEMAHABANG 500KM".
pengen ketawa ga sih?
gpp2, nykp dah telp tmenya & skrg udh giat lg nelp hotel2 keparat.
kl ampe ujung2nya kekosan gw ngakak..oh, org derek dah dtg.

11.00 pm, Rest Area 39, tambal ban.
11.05 pm - 00.00an am mobil sedot wc/sedot tinja parkir right.next.to.me.
00.55am, pursue Bandung.
02.00 am...hotel.
ah.
sial.
tuhan emang bener-bener suka becanda.


--edit-- though as always, after every spatter, we usually end up having a decent time. was happy that she could meet Bang Ed at ITB's Architect building while waiting for me to finish my kelayakan and had fun nostalgic-ing (?) (bu tita asked me for the pdf file of my booklet :D! ok.gotta do good at sidang >:).)

an E N V E L O P E.

Got home at 00.50am (15 mins ago) from a frickin wedding.
Never in my life, in all my experiences in escorting my parents to their wedding events have I had any kind of problem that wasn't my mom's fault.
(nearly) Never in my life, do I fight by my mom's side (I tend to [try] and sooth her mood.or i just let her do her own 'battles'.)
There really is a first time for everything it seems.

So after having a good time watching tv and lazing about with friends at a friends' house from morning, I grudgingly left them to honor my promise to my mom to escort her to a friends' wedding...
1.) First thing she said to me: "Eh before we go to that first wedding [which a) Is at JCC, on a b)Saturday night, and c) It was already 4.30pm and she was still in front of the computer.], we stop by at my other friends' wedding at Kuningan ya. paling berangkat ke yang satu at 8 cukup ko..."

2.) Of course we left at 7pm.

3.) And of course we left the wedding at 9pm.

4.) Now the second wedding's where everything went to hell: first we weren't allowed in because we didn't bring the invitation. my mother automatically went all gung ho and aggressive to the poor mbak-mbak jaga. I apologized on behalf of my mom, offered to get it from the car, and surprisingly) calmed my mom down.

5.) Finally gave the invitation and..."Maaf, amplopnya dimana ya Bu? Gaboleh masuk tanpa dua2nya.."
...what?

We tried everything from "Lah saya punya fisik undangannya aja kan bukti saya diundang! periksa aja, ga pals kok. Emang ga bisa cari nama saya di database apa (ngga bisa)???" to "Saya bukannya mandatan, tapi saya memang bener2 inner circle Bapak _____! Yaudah saya panggilin orang deh (and just her luck, everyone she tried to contact didn't get to their phone until an hour later)!"

My mother even went so far as to say "Fuck it, let's just go home."
Usually I would agree, but for this one I refused.
This was all so stupid, and the way things were we looked fucking desperate. Whereas I didn't give a rat's ass about how important the wedding people were, I just came here to escort my mom to one of her best friends' event and she just wanted to celebrate her friends' happiness, that I refused to go home defeated. So we kept trying to call someone to help.

Finally, seeing a lost cause but still curious I asked them nicely "Ok fine, but may I please know exactly what the instructions said on the envelope...if it did say to bring the envelope for said purpose, then it's our fault for not being thorough and we will apologize, but if not then we have the right to get in because this is your party's fault for not being informative (Masalahnya di lembaran 'free parking' ada perintah lengkap detail. Kartu 'mohon tidk membawa hadiah'-nya juga detail)" That's all I asked.
But then she went on and on about "Pokoknya undangan dan amplop harus dibawa Mba!" Which I replied "Iyaaa,saya ngerti kok,saya cuma mau tau aja (ngulang yang diatas)..."
This went on for some time, and I still haven't got my answer.
Suddenly bitch went all "Tunggu dulu Mba *bentak*! Tolong diam sebentar *BENTAK*!" and I lost it. Ended up shrieking in her damn face, repeating the same request twice until she finally answered "Iya emang di ga ditulis detail info bawa amplopnya, tapi prosedurnya tetep tidak boleh menerima yg ga bawa dua2nya apapun alasannya!"
"NAH.ITU yang saya tanyain dari tadi kenapa diputer2?! Terima kasih atas bantuannya Mba *senyum manis*"

And just to rub it in like a little bitch, I kept repeating my main (was)friendly-neutral purpose and how I didn't understand why they had to be so rude to me when I wasn't aggressive(before) to my mom right behind the Mbak2.I deserved it.cih.
Mind you, I'm usually one of the last person to be aggressively rude to strangers who don't make sense. I try to reason with them first, no matter how crude I may seem, that's why i was pissed.

Also, I hate it when supervisors--of any kind of bidang-- 'teach' their subordinates to 'defend' their rules by using the mandatory and textbook-memorized-by-heart answers. and combining it with, "don't give them a straight answer.puter2in aja terus jawaban yang udah dihafal ampe mereka bosen, dan jangan.sampai.menyerah". Sorry, but I don't get 'bosen' easily.

We finally got in, and guess what? Ga di cek tuh daftar tamunya. I was actually hoping that we were actually stowaways sekalian kalo gini caranya.

anyway, on to number,
6. Guess what happened to all the invitations?

and it was like this on every table the whooooole way we had to stand in line to the main stage.
Apparently they only took the damn envelope.
so why not just stick our name label/ask us to fill in our name onto a small un-wasting piece of paper instead? come on, like we're all going to keep the invites for souvenirs? or to reuse them for whatever? pfft.please. most of us chuck 'um in the bin, end of story.

7) The food was seriously mediocre for all the fuss.
and this is me currently careless of the food's quality. seriously, at least the food could be good.

8) We finally spotted one decent food at the buffet outside.on the way out.where they're supposed to have some inside, the main arena...and we missed it to some guy who was quicker then us. just our luck.tuhan suka bercanda.

The only good thing out of the damn wedding was that:
1) I met Hasna, my AlIzhar friends' friend who was basically on the same page as me (terpaksa nemenin, males basa-basi with all those people, dan kesel krn makanannya biasa baget.banget.GRAHH.)

2) The souvenir was nice.
3) Got a Coke, Coffee, and a plate of (so-so) nachos from 7-11 Senayan

exactly what the cup sleeve said.tuhan suka bercanda indeed.

4) Usually every Saturday radio is crap at night, but Kiss Fm was awesome to me on the way to and home, presenting me with a line of old songs from Lenny Kravits,RHCP,Linkin Park,Foo Fighters,Matchbox20 etc and closed with Nirvana, which was very liberating and refreshing.

5) I invited my mother to a 'little game' that was, agreeably, a good nightcap before bed...

ah.
unlike them, i'll be using the paper for something else, thank you.

i question thee.

i don't understand why every 'article' in the korean wave world over-uses the word "reveal".
it makes everything feel so....scandalous.
when it's actually covering 'stories' such as these:

not to mention un-syncronized pictures they choose to accompany the article.like so:

my reaction would be 'mana mungkin bisa simpati liat ginian.' or 'if i saw someone pose in front of me like this, i'd threaten him too.'

oh, and i stumbled onto a pretty fucked up article called "5 Top Korean Diet Trends".

the first two was all normal, only 'hahaha, ironis banget abis leyeh males eh yg kedua super aktif'. the third one is where it all started...

what are "honey thighs" and "chocolate abs"? glad you asked:

i'm sorry, you needed a definition?look no further:

wow.just......wow.
ada istilahnya aja dong.

go read the article.
the people there are taking all this shit seriously, it hurts.but amusing nonetheless.hahaha
nope, i'm not complaining, these things are one of my sanity sources, they keep my happy~

MKG.

(yesterday)

hey, they got a new makeover! at a new site! nicee

jebakan batman: Pondok Djaja, the beauty that is in the form of a Padang-Chinese combo way of cooking their ayam goreng & gulai kepala ikan where my mom and her friend have been regular customers since grade school.

waiting for ages for my mother to get her 'chores' done always mostly has it's rewards, so i try my best to keep a positive mind every time she says 'cuma bentar ko.'.
yes i got caught in her jebakan batman, yes i had to wait oh, say, a quarter of a day at said huge-ass mall, but. good things do come after the bad.

for instance, i was presented with this 'heart-warmer': of all things,the first books i get attracted to were these.and the newspaper as a 'penutupan' of my day when picking up Bunda's pictures at Adorama Menteng(i swear i'm not racist.i just like to connect things.):

ah.

and these finds!FINDS!!

but because of my limited budget, i raided the discounted area instead :p.

10,20, dan 30 ribuan sajaa

act or forget.

pameran stempel & kaligrafi tiongkok