the thing that i hate the most is the fact that I, who has, for as long as i remember, tries my best to avoid to have anything to do with cliches (unless it has to do with unexpected coincidences), has ended up with the one thing cliche that i wished hoped and truly prayed to god that wouldn't happen to me, which is : found 'that' person from high school, and end up with him for the rest of my life.
now, I HAVE, and been repeatedly told that i'm lucky, because most people would die and are in fact jealous of my position. and I, in fact would GLADLY give my position to anyone who'd have it.
why i hate it:
1. no matter what i try to do, he always come back to haunt me, and i can never hold back to my impulses (hey,im an expressionist, so sue me)
2. he tries NOTHING to help me stop (and i do know for fact that it is indeed his intentions)
3. people keep telling me (despite the fact that we broke up n all), ' yeah yeah, you're gonna end up marrying him anyway,so no matter what your status is, or whatever you 'claim' to be in with him makes no difference'
with that SMUG goddamn 'whatever you say, i KNOW how its gonna end', SOTOY, YAKIN, DISBELIEF that all my attempts are useless.
i.HATE.that.
the fact that they all know whats 'written' or someshit. i feel like that their dictating me in some sort, especially when i know that there is a big chance that its gonna happen, but i REFUSE to receive all the 'tuh kan,apa gw bilang? pasti ama dia kan ujung2nya' or 'alah, kan emang dr dulu udh PASTI sama dia' etc etc when it happens.
i REFUSE to have my future decided by those assholes.
i'm sorry, but unlike some people, i would still like to get to know other people. i still want to know what other typle of people exist. what type of relationship do they offer. or just get to know people in general. its interesting.
im really really really bothered by the fact that i cant stop thinking.
