Tuesday, March 24, 2009

hari macam APA ini?

1. oh holy sweet jesus, i have fuckin bangs.
BANGS i tell you,
BAAAAAANGS.
my first since elementary school...been wanting to try for quite some time, but alas, no
guts. hahahahha
*muchas gracias tendy *3*~ *
now all i have to do is suck up my guts, and no.2 :

2. me lit n tendy went 2 simpang.
me n lit ate sate kambing
Rp.22.000 aja loh.
rasa ayam gosong pula.
kacrut

3.
tendy berkata "muka gw bulet kalo pake jilbab. okeh,gw ga boleh masuk islam"

4. out of 239 films, i have watched 141 of them.
and according to that blasted addictive site,
'above
94 SUPPOSEDLY means u have no life'
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA what can i say, i'm a movie geek >X9~

5. oh,and according to that site again:
TANK = i have an outgoing personality

yes. Tank from left 4 dead.
THAT Tank.
i totally agree with ata : the one who made this quiz is mental.
hahahaha

Thursday, March 19, 2009

reasons why this blog is not for public consumption:

is because i dont have the patients to decor it and make it interesting like my other friends blogs.

plus,its usually rantings that might piss off some people who take it the wrong way n all.

ahahahahha X9

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

schit

D A I K I R A I

WHY is it that people want SO much to be listened to but they never listen to others in return?
why is it that these days people HAVE to be self-centered? what, are they produced by the same factory? huh? is that how people get that same bloody fuckin attitude???i dont know who's fault it is at the moment, but for now im thinking its 50-50.
im close to snapping more constantly these days, and i dont know how long it is till i actually hit someone n get hit back in return. i hate it.eventhough i feel that
in this section its unhelpable for me to change it, n i feel that i have the word 'immature hot-headed bitch' stamped to my forehead,and at certain times i feel embarrased about that temper,but i just cant help it.

good thing i decided to go home just now. walking is good for me.
oh,and i happen to stumble upon this gorgeous little thing :



it IS true that chocolate helps do wonders (in this case, it eased off my pissed-off-ness).
muchas gracias Rp600,- chocolate :j

*buuuuttt..i do still feel fucky,so meh.

Friday, March 13, 2009

xabier

i really have no idea why im writing here.
anyway, i dont know how, but i was suddenly in front of the computer and ended up here,so here goes.

tuesday,10 march
the cashier lady at Yogya riau junction had a scar on her arm
the cashier lady at Hypermart BIP had a scar on her arm
the extra friend on our spontanious 'journey' had a scar on his arm
i would love to say that all 3 had the scars on their LEFT forearm, but im not quite sure :/.
that was one of the best days ive had in a long time

wednesday,11 march
madre called to inform bout singapore internship
padre called for that too AND tht xabier is staying at the clinic because of his digestion problems
but padre said he's ok and that he'll be eating 'normal food' instead of science diet (baca = HEMAT.hahaha)
thursday,12 march
8.40am padre called (my fuckin phone wasn't silenced, n i forgot to adjust the volume).sport jantung sesaat, tp ternyata he just wanted to confirm tht the thursday yang tgl merah is on the 26th,not next week.so i said,'sure,i'll def be there to eat n play with xabier :D!'
me n litya helped ayu look for kosan,n while pit-stopping at litya's place, out of the blue (gr2 lg 'siiiiing' gr2 ayu msh stress mo kos dmn) i ended up telling her 'bout xabier's condition from last wednesday.
koboy-surprise nesia-sleep
today,friday,13 march, 7 am
aya barged into my room n gave me her handphone...
went to order travel,packed my bag,went to litya's to get my phone,ended up late 5 mins n ordering the 9am one, got L.A.+lighter from alfamart,ate indomierebustelor,back to citi for coffe n smoke in the drivers 'lounge' (nuhun kang2),brangkat..
this ended up being one of the worst days in my life

*intermezzo :
guess what i got on the fox wrapper in the car :
1."kesulitan cenderung menghasilkan sifat yang hebat"
2."kebahagiaan itu datang setelah kita menerima ketidakbahagiaan itu sendiri"
and at home:
3."kesabaran itu pahit,tetapi manis buahnya"
ha.bangsat.so not the time for introspeksi diri, and analyzing,'sign' reading.


and the whole 2 hours otw to jakarta felt like a decade, with me, thinking up all those above.
ipod didnt help much (tho it gave me 2 songs i wanted the most,n lasted for the 24 songs on my playlist that i asked to 'not die before the playlist ends' (batre sekarat.)
these are the kind of things where i hate my analyzing and 'sign-reading' nature :
1. 3 times in a row scar = good
2. my parents never call me 2 days in a row, plus sport jantung n nagging feeling never did end after the first call (though vague).
and just now i read my old sms's, n there was my mom's sms 'come to jakarta if u can! menu hidup bahagia : yummy2 eat dad n xabier!' when i was having a workshop at my school, persistently (she seldom does this too).
both above made me want to be impulsive n go home on the spot, but i didnt.

ironic no?
scar(bad)= good
happy times ahead planned (good)= bad

he was only a puppy for fucks sake.
why make him suffer to this extent? he didn't deserve this shit.

love you xabier, really wish i could see you in monster form :'j..hahaha
say hi to wee n edon n all my friends dogs as well..


R.I.P.
Xabier
October 2008 - 13 March 2009

Thursday, March 12, 2009

spontanitas

is GORGEOUS.
it should happen a lot :)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

narsisme

Narsisme.
Entah sejak kapan sudah menjadi suatu ‘trend’ yang digandrungi nyaris semua orang yang memiliki pocket camera dan handphone berkamera (especially the latter).
Biasanya mereka memfoto ‘kenangan’ dari suatu acara kumpul2 bersama teman2nya. Tetapi alangkah terkejutnya pada saat menemukan bahwa SEMUA foto2 ‘kenangan’ tadi memiliki wajah si pengambil foto di kira2 90% dari foto tsb. Dan jika diamati/diperhatikan dengan benar, semua wajah pengambil foto tadi raut dan mimiknya SAMA PERSIS. Modification? A bit. SLIGHTLY. Man,even ‘slightly’ still sounds like an understatement.

Anyhow,the only ‘modif’ within the face is just an,um..how to say it? ‘ugly’ poses.
See, their andalan poses consists of a trademark face,usually the form of the basic ‘smile for the CANDID camera ‘ pose. Be it teethless, with teeth, a smirk, a purse of the lips, with the addition of the playings of the eyes (squint, half squint, innocent wide-eyes, wide-eye + raised eyebrows to enhance thy wide-eye,etc,etc, only god knows how much this nonsence has evolved.)

Anyway, what bugs me is that they capture hundreds of pictures in ONE session (baca:acara kumpul2), and they feel the need to always post every single one of them on facebook. I mean, come on. Out of that hundred, theres probably 80 that looks the same. a perfect copy even.
WHY?
Seriously, im curious. What the hell do these people think and feel?
Do they feel like showing off?
Do they feel insecure so that they feel the need to post every single picture they think shows their gorgeous side?
Do they like the attention of having thousands of photos on FB?
Do they do it to balap who has the most pics?
Do they do that just for the heck of showing how much they love themselves?
Do they do that just for the heck of showing off how much they love themselves?
Do they feel cool?
Do they feel they have to share whatever ‘special’ moments thay had with their friends?
Everey.single.acara? acara yg SAMA setiap AKHIR MINGGU?
Just, WHY?

And don’t use ‘oh I want to share it with my friends who were there’.
Or ‘kan banyak yg foto ‘jelek’ jugaaa’. Tsk. Yeah. ‘JELEK’. (and they comment on it too.ALL of it. Pdhl sama semua gitu mukanya.)

People are probably gonna react if they see something like this writings like,
‘emang kenapa sih? Salah ya kalo narsis?’ or ‘ kenapa sih? Are you jealous?’ why,because im not as nauseatingly an exibitioning narcist like you people? That when I have a slightly different expression on my face (baca : ‘gila,muka gw ancur banget’ pdhl msh cantik2 aja), I immedeatly UNTAG the goddamn picture so the world can be spared the sight of how ‘ugly’ you were in that picture, and by doing that you have save the worlds virgin eyes?
What? Just what is it that’s in their mind about this recent global attack of narcism?
I seriously honestly wonder why.
Should I make a research of it? No, seriously,no bullshit here. Because in one way, its interesting. Im just curious as to how can people love themselves to that extinct.
What, me? How about me? Do I love myself or am I just insecure?
Yeah sometimes im mostly insecure, but sometimes I do get the pleasure of seeing a good picture of myself. Because it does give me a boost of confidence to be comfortable in my own skin, and to not think two-dimensional about ones attractiveness. I’d rather be plain, but be attractive and pretty once in a while then be pretty all the time,24/7. For me, that obvious beauty is boring, and im actually thankful that im not that.

I’ve been dealing with a whole lotta beauty in my friends. In fact, most of my closest friends whom ive known since I was little, are all beautiful. The kind of that when they walk inside a room, all heads turn their way. Ive been so used to it, that im just walking next to them eating popcorn or stuffing whatever into my mouth, and watch amusingly around the social effect of my dear friends. LOVE it. Hahaha,its really interesting in a way.
So if someone thinks that, ‘ ah, you’re probably just jealous because your not pretty,yaddayadda’, they’ve got it seriously wrong.
I bet the fact that they wont believe my simple explanation about the reason why im curious about this topic,is only because of just that, ‘im curious’, is just the same fact that bemuses me about their simple explanation of reason to this action : because we want to.

That’s it, I'm doing research.
QUESTIONS :
1. how many pictures do you take of yourself daily?
2. how many pictures do you take of you and your friends daily?
3. how many with hand phone?
4. how many with pocket camera?
5. how many with macbook?
6. how many of them are candid?
7. how many of them are ugly?
8. how many of them are REALLY ugly?
9. what is ugly in your opinion? Distortion? A squint? Melet? Mulut gembung?
10. what is your signature face pose?
11. what is your signature face angle?
12. what is your prettiest angle?
13. how often do you FB?
14. how often do you upload?
15. how often do you immediately upload after an acara kumpul main?
16. why do you feel the need to upload every single shard of photos?
17. are you afraid to look ugly?
18. are you afraid of looking really ugly then get the pic posted?
19. will you untag if it did?
20. why do you become a narcist?
21. what do you see in yourself?
22. were you an ugly duckling when you were little?
23. what do you think of these questions?
24. what do you think of the person who made it?
25. what is narcism in your opinion?
26. are you a narcist?

One day I might do this ‘research’, but for now, lets just leave it on paper.

lalala means i'm ranting my ass off

hola
as a forewarning : if you have accidentally stumbled upon this blog, let me say that this was never intended to be an 'open' blog.
i just need the keteraturan tanggal, format,lalala dr si blog, daripada naro2 di word ato apalah, trus filenya ilang2 :p.ahaha
i am a ranting person, but i never do anything about it, so at least now i can at LEAST record it, and maybe (MAYBE) hopefully i can do something about it.
well at least i don't bug the hell off people around me (intentionally) and establish the image of a very angry person, when actually i'm not. i'm just an expressionist that has a lot of things to say, but doesn't know how to express it besides ranting (that's how it usually comes out as.sial).
and i hope that by typing it down, it can take off some of the load off my head.

ah well.
here i go~